Political jokes
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Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path
of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your
money", he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it - I'm a United
States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been"
Why do we "need" dozens of new government programs to fix it!
Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional ammendment.
A: Only one. If he can handle 250000000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra lightbulb.
Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier. A: None, they only screw the poor
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